By Kimberly Gerber
Last week I posted about how to rebuild trust and clarified that, while it’s possible, it’s even better to not put ourselves in the position of losing trust. So how do we do this? One way is by keeping healthy promises and learning how to recognize and prioritize the boundaries on our time. This means saying “no” to the things that we either do not want to do, or that we don’t realistically have the capacity to do. We put our priorities first, which oftentimes does not leave room for other things.
It sounds easy, but saying “no” can be a challenge. Many of us struggle with holding boundaries in an attempt to be helpful, show initiative or create harmony. We don’t want to disappoint others. But trying to do everything will lead to feeling overworked, resentful, stressed, and/or unfocused. And, it can keep you from accomplishing what’s most important to you.
The balance between being available for others, and creating healthy and fulfilling lives is a tough one. And, sometimes we can make it more difficult than it needs to be because we don’t have strong skills in asserting our boundaries by saying “no.”
To help, here are two simple tips that you can use to strengthen your skill in this area and bring some balance back into your life.
- Be intentional about what you are saying “yes” to. Whenever you say “yes” to one thing, you are inadvertently saying “no” to something else. If someone makes a request, take some time to think through the implications and determine what you want to say “yes” to, and respond with confidence. If the answer has to be a “no,” then you’ve let the other party know so they can make other plans. A quick “no” is much better than saying “yes” to something that you can’t do and/or resent doing.
- Tell people what you “can” do, then tell them what you can’t do. This serves to act as balm on a paper cut. When you bring solutions that solve at least some of the problem, you communicate to the other person that you have been thoughtful and made an attempt to be helpful while still holding your boundary.
Saying “no” can be a challenge – but it doesn’t have to be! Having clarifying priorities and being realistic about time helps. If this is an area of opportunity for you, then we invite you to meet with communications experts and learn more about asserting your boundaries for success! There are many ways to connect with us – follow us on Facebook, signup to receive tips, attend our next 3-Day Intensive Workshop or contact our offices to find out more about how we help successful professionals every day.
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